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I want to say this carefully, because I don’t think this is everyone. There are plenty of chassidishe bochurim who are full of chayus, learning seriously, living what they learn. Baruch Hashem. This isn’t about them.

But I’ve seen this by many bochurim, and honestly, to some extent, I see it by myself too. And I keep wondering why.

Bochurim learn Tanya in mesivta. Properly. With tests. With questions. With answers. If you ask a bochur a question on like:"what does the Alter Rebbe say in Perek Beis?", he might know exactly what to say. He knows the concepts. He knows the right words.

And still, somehow, it doesn’t always get inside.

Life starts getting real. Struggles, מחשבות, ups and downs, the daily fight. And Tanya, the sefer that is literally written for this, is not where he turns. Not because he doesn’t believe in it. But because it doesn’t feel personal. It feels learned, not lived.

Which makes no sense.

Tanya says clearly that a beinoni’s whole avodah is the fight. Not to win it once and be done. The fight itself is the avodah. Different struggles every day, but always a struggle. And that itself is the victory. To Hashem, the battle is the victory.

So why doesn’t that change how we see ourselves when we struggle?
Why does a bochur hit a hard moment and think something is wrong with him, instead of thinking Tanya is describing him exactly?

I was speaking to a certain bochur (in a certain mesivta) who told me he’s sick of Shabbos ר"ל. He mentioned a vort how people who start keeping Shabbos later seem happier with it. For them it’s a choice. For him it feels forced.

That hit me hard.

If Tanya is real, if it explains a Yid’s inner world, then Shabbos should feel like light, not weight. And if a bochur who grew up with all this doesn’t feel that, something is missing.

I don’t know if this is a system issue, a timing issue, or just something about how life works. I’m not blaming anyone. I’m just asking why Tanya, which is emes, doesn’t always feel real to the people who learned it their whole lives.

Side note, but maybe not such a small one.

Tanya baal peh which is an unbelievable thing. Kids knowing Tanya word for word is powerful. They are literally filling the air with דא"ח. But if many boys don’t know what they are saying, then of course it’s hard. Of course the koch fades later on (take a look at Zal how many guys leanrning TBP...?).

Imagine if before memorizing, the boys were shown simply what the perek is about. With a clear explanation. Maybe sometype of presrntation/Video explaining in simple terms these great ideas. Something that shows them what these words mean for a Jew. Then they go and memorize those exact words, word for word, knowing what they are saying. That changes everything. They are not just saying sounds. They actually כאפ what they are saying and when reviewing it over they mistame have a much greater effect.

That could give real koch. And maybe help keep it later on too.

Again, I don’t have answers. I’m not saying this is everyone. And I’m definitely not saying Tanya isn’t working. Tanya is emes.

I’m just saying that when so many bochurim learn it, know it, and still don’t feel it guiding them when life gets hard, that’s something we need to think about.

Why isn’t Tanya real for every single bochur?

That question doesn’t leave me.